Old pair or new pair of jeans? That is the question…

     Wow, I wish I had some really awesome story or revelation to tell today, but I don’t. Today was a task oriented day. It was busy from the time I got up at 4:30 this morning until right this moment (10:30pm). I am glad to say that I was able to get a million things accomplished though.
     Life is definitely interesting. It’s like a constant battle between what I want to do and what I should do. I struggle over listening to my heart, my head or my friends. I want to be in a relationship. That is the honest truth. I don’t want to be in the wrong relationship though. The wrong one may blind me to the right one.
     So then that brings me to the question of just how many times do I want to put on the comfortable pair of jeans (Pivo) before they wear out? Those comfortable pair of jeans  just keep calling my name. I think about them constantly and I know that I am thinking about them because they are comfortable and I don’t have to break them in. They fit and I know that they do, but a new pair… although not completely comfortable in the beginning may be more comfortable than the old ones if I just give them a chance. 
     Are the old jeans really so comfortable or am I just convincing myself that they are because the thought of shopping for a new pair is scary? It is full of excitement while on the hanger and potential disappointment when I put them on. The old pair and I go way back and we have memories. A new pair may be a little stiff in the beginning and it is devoid of memories. Making new memories and breaking in a new pair of jeans could be a lot of fun, but the unknown is intimidating. 
     It doesn’t help that all of the jeans that are currently in the mix just don’t really feel right. They aren’t even that appealing on the hanger which makes that old pair so much more inviting. The fear of them hurting me like they did before has been put on the shelf for the time being. Forgotten. Tucked away somewhere that can’t be found. I hope that the memories of those times are lost forever. 
     Tomorrow I am going to go out with the comfortable pair of jeans. I am going to enjoy them like I always did. I am going to get lost in them while enjoying Sushi and drinking a glass of wine. Tomorrow I will allow myself to remember what it is like to be a part of another persons life. Tomorrow I will allow myself to pretend, even if it is only for a couple of hours, that everything is the way it was so many years ago when I was living the life I had always thought that I should live. Tomorrow night will be my night to put looking for a new pair of jeans aside just long enough to remind myself why I need to find a new pair to commit to.

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