Quiet time

Well, I can’t lie. This was a fun weekend. Nameless is definitely at the top of the list currently. The others just couldn’t keep up. 
I enjoyed the movies tonight. It was nice. Comfortable Jeans, the boys, my daughter and her boyfriend went and saw Madagascar 3. It was funny and again I got lost in the moment. I have to quit doing that, but truthfully… I doubt I will any time soon. I am honest with all parties involved and they all know that I am dating, so the disclaimer is out there. I just need to remember that for myself. 
One thing I learned from my 3 dates this weekend is that I am looking for someone that I can envision a future with. Why is this a revelation? We all want that right? We all know to look for that don’t we? I thought so, but let me explain.
Comfortable Jeans is just that, he is comfortable. I enjoy him. I have done life with him before and I know what that is like. It is nice. It is full of great things and I know that wouldn’t be any different now. The problem as I have stated before is that we view faith and Jesus differently. 
Nameless changed the game for me a little bit and he didn’t even know he was doing that. He is what sparked this new revelation. This new trait that I am looking for. I have always analyzed the people that I have gone out with and tried to envision life with them when I am old. I think that is fairly normal when you are looking to be in a relationship. The difference…
I suddenly realized I am intentionally dating. I am “shopping” for my husband. I am not looking to make a small purchase for a sale price or a knock off item. I am looking to give everything I have to the highest quality individual that was special ordered just for me. I came to this realization as I was thinking about and replaying my date last night. I wanted to find out why it was so great. What was it that I enjoyed so much and why was it that time flew by? The one thing that really just hit me hard and made me say “wow”, was that when I was conversing with nameless, sharing moments in the theater, sitting across from him at the table, laughing over small talk and walking to the car, I could see life with him and I wasn’t even looking for that. Something about the comfortable way he was and the story in his eyes made me think that this is a person I could envision going to church with, going to dinner parties with friends, sitting across the table while on vacation reading a book or the paper. I could see life with a person like him. Not just events. The thought of looking across the room tomorrow or looking across the table 30 years from now and seeing a face like that is what I want. I want to see gentle, I want to see passion, I want to see comfort and a future. I want to look across a table or a room or the bed and know that the eyes that I am looking into have lived life and learned from the life that has been lived. I want to look at that persons face and see strength, joy, love and desire. I want to a real man and that is what I saw in nameless.
Without telling his story because it is not mine to tell, this man has been given what I would have viewed as an impossible situation. I would have been angry and constantly asked God why me? What did I do to deserve this? I would not have handled the situation with the strength that I saw in this man. I truly was in awe over the love that spilled out of him when he talked about this particular part of his story and it got me excited about it. Then taking a step back and really digesting the information all I can think is OH MY GOSH, I was truly sitting across the table from an incredible person. What an awesome opportunity I have been given to see that.
I am not saying that nameless is my happily ever after. I am not even thinking like that, I am saying that nameless has made me raise my standards even more and they were pretty high to begin with. The challenge now is to not settle for the “sale” item. Not to compromise what I want by replacing it with a knock off. I need to remember to hold out for the genuine, one of a kind, high valued work of art!

2 thoughts on “Quiet time

  1. Grrrr… if I see comfortable jeans in one more blog I may have to “cbyer-slap” some sense into you! The fact that you ALREADY broke one rule you set for yourself should clearly indicate that this is a HORRIBLE idea!! What rule you ask? “I’m not going to introduce Comfortable Jeans to my boys.” That barely lasted a WEEK!! You my dear wonderful friend are far too good for him and for the Good Will clearance package he’s offering you. Stop shopping like you’re buying with pennies… your a diamond, a real gem among women AND the trade value on that is worth a hell of a lot more than a crappy pair of old jeans that probably wouldn’t even be purchased at Good Will!!

    YOU DESERVE BETTER, YOU DESERVE BETTER, YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! Please STOP selling yourself so short!!!

    xoxox – The Best Friend!

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