So, when I blogged last night, I am not sure that I gave the evening the credit that it deserved. I was so tired!! I really don’t understand how time goes by so fast when I am with “him”… I don’t even know how to put into words anything that has to do with “him”. I truly am at a loss for accurate descriptions and feelings. He is simple. I think. Appears to be. He seems genuine. He is fun. Comfortable to be with. Complimentary, but not too much so. A gentleman. Intelligent (which I really like) but doesn’t flaunt it and isn’t know it all like. He makes me smile. Even when he isn’t around he makes me smile. He is isn’t overbearing, but doesn’t stay off the radar either. He appears to be comfortable with him and although he claims to be intimidated by some things he really doesn’t act like it. He makes decisions, but not in a controlling way. He pulls out chairs and opens doors.
I mean I just really like the guy. I am really surprised that I met him on an online site and he isn’t a total tool… well not yet any way and I really don’t see him ever turning into that.
The thing that just melts my heart the most with him is how he talks about his daughter. Oh my gosh it is the best thing ever. I am a parent and I adore my kids. I talk about them and I will tell you that they are the most amazing things you will ever meet. He on the other hand speaks about his daughter in an indescribable way. This girl doesn’t have him wrapped around her finger in the typical way that one would think, she has him wrapped around her heart. It honestly is the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. I don’t know if I will ever meet her, but if I ever do, it will be a little intimidating. He is beautiful when he talks about her and I can only imagine how much more beautiful it is to watch that interaction.
I want to know so much more of him. I want to fast forward (just for a few minutes) and see what things are really like in his life. I want to see how we will blend 6 months down the road or if we will still be on this path at that time. Will I still be “smitten” with him then? It is an interesting question. I don’t think I give myself enough credit (in walks best friend with commentary). I get concerned that a person like this -if he is what I see him to be now- is “too good” for me. Not too good as in out of my league I don’t deserve to be with someone like him, but I mean with his heart and how gentle and kind he seems to be. I am much more out there. Abrasive at times. Dramatic. Extreme in my emotions, passionate is what I like to call it. I have never given myself the chance to be with someone like this. I choose wrong. I choose different. I also have never been able to just see life with a person in this way. It sounds lame I am sure and definitely premature, but… I could see a future with a man like him. A family man. That is what I see him being. I want that. I don’t want any more life of the party kind of guys. The ones who are so fun in the moment, but then when you get to know them you are so annoyed with their existence.
I want a stable, family oriented, simple, pleasant, adoring gentleman. So far, and I don’t think I am wrong, I see that in him. Oh and I so enjoy the way that he looks at me. He looks at me like I am the only person in the room. He looks at me with gentle eyes. I don’t know, I need to stop rambling. The moral of this story is that I like the guy. Even though I do not intend to dating other people or to pause my quest, I like this one and somewhere deep down I really hope that he is the one that I end this quest with.