Okay, so it is true. I do want to get married again. I do want to be in a relationship with someone which is why I am on this quest. I knew that there wold be some criticism and opinions from others and I was prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for was the absolute panic I would feel when someone would tell me that they feel that I already think I am going to marry a specific someone. YIKES!!!
Suddenly I feel the need to find me some running shoes. I have scenes of runaway bride running through my head. The horse and all. I envision row upon row of running shoes. Ones with jetson style jet packs on them even to increase my speed. Sonic the hedgehog style to make me run at the speed of lightening. Roadrunner style so I am here one second and gone the next. So many kinds of shoes. I just need to pick the right ones. Maybe I don’t need to pick any. Maybe I need to stay right where I am, but I definitely have thoughts of running going through my head. San Francisco will be here in a little more than 24 hours and my friends inabilitiy to remember that I am a chicken may make me late for my flight.
Even if I thought for a moment that I had already met the one (and I may think that), I have no desire to make a quick decision. I feel like I should be doing my due diligence. I should be exploring options and ensuring that I am making the right choice. I should be on my knees in prayer asking for guidance and not making any choices until I get that confirmations. I mean really that is my issue here I don’t trust myself. Me as a human is not capable of such life long decision making. I can’t see the future, but God… HE can. I need him to tell me if this is right or not and if I am being honest, I can’t say that I have spent the time that I need to in prayer.
So, for now… I am going to do my best to not FREAK OUT over silly stuff, I am going to enjoy San Francisco and I am going to get to know nameless (who may end up being named San Francisco) better. Time will tell. It is okay that I don’t know and it is okay that I want to take my time and for my friends who tell me otherwise, if he ends up being the one… I will let you say I told you so without getting mad. 🙂