Ugh!!! I got home late tonight which wasn’t a big deal. I had a great day. A full one, but full of productive things so I have no reason to be anything but happy with my day until…
I CAME HOME!!!!
My freezer looks a mess! It is frozen over and I cannot fix it! Well, maybe I can. That is still up in the air. I finally was able to defrost it and now I have it back on. I guess I will know in the morning where I stand with the Fridge/Freezer situation.
I am blessed to have an awesome friend who came over to try and help and having her here to talk to and keep me from obsessing over the slowly defrosting freezer helped a lot!
So, as I am in my head thinking that it would really have been nice to have a husband to deal with this for or with me and to laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing or to tell me not to worry about it he knew exactly what was wrong and would run to home depot in the morning, I was struck with the realization that this was exactly what was going on. I was laughing about it and shaking my head thinking that this was ridiculous and God was right there with me. It isn’t easy to allow God to be my husband. In fact it is crazy difficult. How do you have something that you cannot feel or see be your husband? It is most certainly something that I am discovering that I need to learn. I know I am loved. I know that God is watching out for me. I know that He wants me to be happy in him. I know that ultimately I need to allow myself to be loved by him completely and when I am in that place, then and only then will I be truly ready for an earthly husband.
You know, he proves himself time and time again! Like today for example, I was getting ready for my day when I get a text message that money had been deposited into my account (completely unexpected mind you)! Perfect timing. I didn’t have any gas in my car and very little food in the pantry. I knew it would work out, I just didn’t know how.
These last couple of months have been an awesome test(imony) of my faith. God’s provisions for me have been abundant. I have not been worried about when or how things will be taken care of, I just trust that they will be. Occasionally I think about it and begin to have a small moment of stress, but it is quickly replaced by peace. I am exactly where I should be at this time. I am doing exactly what I should be doing, and I know that as long as I keep choosing God and not my desires, things will be okay.
It isn’t always easy to remember this and it is very tempting to say yes to the men that are interested. It is tempting to falter and allow certain men to “take care of” me, until I think of what I would be giving up. I serve an awesome God and there is nothing out there worth accepting that would be better than God himself. I will continue to wait for my perfect man or for the imperfect man to become my perfect man. He is out there. I may know him already. I don’t know. What I do know is that when that time comes it is going to be simply amazing!