Today I am feeling…

a little anti-social…. Well actually that isn’t exactly true. I had a fun day and I was totally social for the last couple of days, but now I am home and really all I want to do is chill and relax and enjoy. TV isn’t working so I sit here in front of the computer. I am listening to the clock tick (actually it is too loud in the house to listen to the clock) waiting until the quiet hours of the night when I can pick up my book and read. 🙂

I am struggling with turning my should into a must. I should get up in the morning and read my bible and spend time with God and it isn’t that I don’t want to, but for some reason I can’t seem to get my rear end out of bed. It is cold in the morning and my bed is warm. I am tired in the morning and I have to actually do something to make the coffee maker brew coffee. I try to pray in bed, but I end up falling asleep. I want to spend that time and I get really frustrated with myself when I look at the clock and realize that I have just wasted 2 hours hitting the snooze button. I should not get up and read my bible in the morning I must get up and read my bible in the morning.

I am struggling today with the lack of quickness of things. Why can’t my dreams and desires surface today? I get so impatient and I am such a love/hate person. I love something and go at it full on and then BAM I am bored. Just like that. No warning, it just happens suddenly and then I find myself searching for my next high. The next thing that is going to light the fire into me. The adventure that I am on now fortunately still fuels my fire, but there are so many roadblocks that sometimes I just want to run screaming and forget that I love every part of this.

My daughter comes home today for a week. That is exciting and I start a new part time job. That is exciting exept that my daughter is home and I want to be able to hang out with her instead of working. It will be good to have her here though. I love that kid.

I am not sure the purpose of any of this rambling except to procrastinate doing the things that I don’t want to do, so I am going to go and do them now.


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