Sometimes it would be nice to be a kid again playing in the back yard on my swing set or having a tea party with my dolls. The simplicity of finger painting on the back patio with the neighbor kid. Going to 7-11 with my dad and getting a slurpie. Everything was taken care of back then. My biggest challenge was not talking back or getting caught sneaking brown sugar from the lazy susan in the kitchen. Life was so simple.
One time, I asked my mom if I could walk to the country club for breakfast. She said yes thinking that I was playing a game and being cute. I walked my “cute” self out in my pink robe and slippers and worked my way up to the club. I was so proud to head to the vending machine for breakfast, I mean what little kid wouldn’t be right? I was probably 5 or 6. Before I could make it up there, the golf pro saw me walking and came over in his golf cart. He said he was taking me home. I tried telling him that my mom said it was okay, but I’m assuming he knew her and knew that was not a real possibility. As I am trying to convince him that it was okay, my mom drove up and if I remember the story correctly, she took me home. What a problem to have. 🙂
Sometimes I wish to be little and have that simple life where I knew that my mom and dad would take care of everything. I didn’t worry about bills being paid or how the rent was going to be taken care of. I didn’t worry about how food was going to be put on the table or who was going to take care of me. My mom and dad did that. It was true. They had never let me down before. I didn’t even know that those were issues to worry about.
How do I get back to that place? I know that God takes care of me and he loves me more than my parents could ever imagine loving me. He will take care of me more than they would have ever been able to. He will bless me in ways that my parents could never imagine. I know in my head that this is true. My heart knows it is true also, but I am an adult now and life has knocked me over a few times. As much as I want to believe like a little girl and know that I am never going to have to worry about anything because it was taken care of before it ever even happened, I have to remind myself over and over and over again. I have to fight to believe like that. I have to use every ounce of effort at times just to believe and even then… there is sometimes a little it of doubt.
I want to be a little girl again. I want to trust like that again. I want to believe like that again. I want to believe that no matter what I am going to be taken care of and I do not have a fear in the world. I will fight every doubt that comes to my mind. I will fight that little doubt in my head in order to believe like a little girl. I want to fully receive all of the blessings that are in store for me.