This is my most dreaded question. I never know how to answer, so I just laugh and say “I know, can you believe it?” and that opens up a whole new conversation. Usually full of friendly banter and ending with “I’d like to get to know you more”. Sometimes numbers are exchanged and the short lived story begins.
The first text is safe with a Hi or what are you up to? or some other small talk and then the questions begin. How long were you married? How long have you been divorced? How long have you been single? How is it possible that someone hasn’t swooped you up yet? I can predict the direction of the conversation before it happens. This is the beginning of the end for me.
Let me tell you why I am single. I love Jesus more than I desire to be in a relationship and that is saying a lot, because I REALLY want to be doing life with somebody. Like more than I have ever wanted to before. I am finding myself less patient the more time goes on, but I am not willing to compromise my faith because even though I get frustrated with Jesus and sometimes I cry and whine like a baby, I know that He has my best interest in mind.
So, the answer to why someone hasn’t changed my single status yet is always my faith. So the man asks “Are you Mormon?” I respond with “No, I would probably be married living a happy two parent family life if I were Mormon, but I’m not.” there is a pause and then he says “then what is it about your faith that scares people off?” I respond with “I don’t know, my commitment I guess” and then it happens… every time it happens. The man says “I am spiritual, but I don’t believe in organized religion”. That is where they lose me. I know that they are going to try to convince me that they are such a great person and would treat me so well and on and on. You know, I believe them. They probably are fabulous and they probably would treat me like the princess that I believe that I am. They would be wonderful to do life with except that we would see Jesus’ place in our relationship differently and it would never work out.
Sometimes I am tempted to just give in to the desire and give the person a chance, but in the long run hearts hurt and time is wasted and I just don’t want to go down that road any longer. So, I don’t. It isn’t fun and it makes me a little annoyed at Jesus for the wait. I am just being honest here. I WANT MY PERSON TO FIND ME!!!
So, person who approached me tonight, you were so charming. You were good looking. You made me laugh and for a moment I felt a small ounce of hope that my person is in my near future, but I just can’t compromise what I believe. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. Approaching someone is never easy and I know that. I am not going to waste your time though. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. You would probably really like me and I would probably like you, but it would never work and so it does not make sense.
To my forever, I want to serve Jesus with you. I want to share every part of my life with you. I am trying really hard to be patient and wait for you. Will you please hurry up and find me? I would like to never have to answer the question “How is a beautiful woman like you still single?” again.