Two years ago today I wrote a blog post. I remember exactly why I wrote it, exactly what had prompted the post, and exactly how I was feeling. My life is drastically different today than it was two years ago. I am living far more free than I was then. I am not tripped up by the same things that have tripped me up in the past. I am stronger, more steadfast in my relationship with Jesus. I am not trying to orchestrate things, I am letting Jesus orchestrate things because He is honestly better than I am at it.
I still have slip ups, struggles, challenges, moments of fear and distrust, but He is so faithful and full of love and I would be pretty thick headed to not see just how incredible Jesus is and how much he has worked in my life.
I love how cool Jesus is. I needed to read what I wrote 2 years ago. I didn’t need to read it because I am going through the same thing I was 2 years ago, but because reading it reminds me of just how much He has saved me from! I needed to read it to remind me of where I was a short time ago. Mostly I needed to read it to be reminded of how faithful Jesus is and that I am sitting in victory today instead of shame!
I am re-blogging this in the hope that someone will benefit from the words I wrote 2 years ago. God loves us through our messes 100% of the time!
Re-Blog from March 2, 2013
It is amazing how the enemy works. Satan sure is a dirty creature and no matter how much I know that he is out to steal, kill and destroy, I still find myself falling for his dirty tricks on occasion. The beauty in it is that although I may not always choose the right path, I find myself turning around a whole lot faster. Instead of sitting in the mess of it, I repent and move on. Now, that is not to say that I don’t think about it at all anymore, but when I do I know it is the enemy trying to push me down and drown me. I am getting stronger and learning how to combat those lies with truths. I am learning that I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to be willing. God will refine me. He will make beauty out of ashes. He will knock on my heart gently and remind me that he loves me where I am at. He isn’t surprised by my slip ups because he has already paid the price for them. How awesome is that?
God has been showing me His love and teaching me how to love others by loving me. This has been such an awesome journey and I am so excited about Jesus. I am beside myself with joy and overwhelmed daily by just how amazing Jesus is. I am believing and professing that this is the year of change. This is the year of big things (it has already begun)! God is going to use all of the junk in my life for His greater glory! I know that He has great things planned for my future and it is not by accident that I am blessed with my church family or where I am right now. I am blessed with a beautiful roommate who is so encouraging and willing to serve. I have an abundance of friends who are genuinely amazing in their own ways. I value each and every one of them and wish that there was enough time in life to be able to foster each one of those friendships daily. God’s provision for me and my household is nothing short of miraculous. I want for nothing.
My quest for a husband will not end until I am married, but it is powerful to rest in Jesus and learn to trust that He has that person for me. Through the process Jesus has shown me what a perfect husband He is. He is gentle, loving, kind, generous, forgiving, and patient. He is the provider. He is a perfect gentleman and never forces Himself on me. He knocks on my heart just to tell me hi and that he loves me. He brings me flowers every day, well sometimes it is cactus, but they are pretty too. He longs to spend time with me, but doesn’t get angry when I forget about our date. He reminds me that He wants to pour into me and spend time with me, but he is patiently waits for me to be ready. He is not a pushover. He is strong and mighty. He will war for me at all times. He values me and makes sure that I know it. He protects me and keeps me from harm. He embraces me when I feel lonely and comforts me when I am feeling down. I still have so much to learn and so much more growing to do, but His love has not gone unnoticed.